SAN ANTONIO – At the time she was arrested last week on drug possession charges, Bernadette Rivera was carrying a human fetus in her purse. She explained why she did it, from the Bexar County Jail Tuesday.
Behind the glass of the jail's visitation center, Rivera sat grieving, wanting to tell her story of loss.
"I miscarried at a friend's house," she said.
She said it happened on April 3 and she carried the fetus in a plastic container in her purse for 25 days.
When asked why she carried it for so long, she said she didn't know what else to do.
"As a parent, you just want what's best for your child. Maybe I was trying to protect her until I could bury her. Maybe I just didn't want to let go. Maybe a part of me still doesn't want to let go," she said, tears running down her face.
Rivera was arrested Thursday, not for carrying the fetus, but for carrying drugs.
Rivera said she went to Cassiano Park on the West Side to look for a debit card she thought she lost. That's when police came over and told her she was violating the park's curfew.
Police found one gram of methamphetamine and one gram of heroin on her, but she said she doesn't do drugs anymore.
"I was carrying somebody else's stuff. It was easy money to hold onto it for somebody. I've been clean since November. I cleaned up to get pregnant," Rivera said.
After officers found the drugs, Rivera told them she had a fetus in her purse.
"The lady just looked shocked. She ran right away. I remember seeing her run to the other officers telling them what I had told her," she said.
Rivera told police she went to a hospital. But the hospital she named told KSAT 12 it has no record of her being there.
Officers confirmed Rivera was not under the influence when she was taken to jail. They said having the fetus with her was not a crime, but she couldn't keep it any longer.
"I was just doing what I thought was right. If you love your child, you would want them to have a resting place, somewhere you can take them flowers," she said.
The county took the fetus to a funeral home, where Rivera's family will plan a burial.
"I made some mistakes. I take responsibility for mistakes. But I didn't hurt my baby. I just wanted to protect her," Rivera said.
Traumatized, Rivera just wants to be understood.
At one point in the interview, Rivera mentioned she had reached out to CHRISTUS Santa Rosa's Angels Away program, which seeks to help women by offering spiritually based counseling and support to help families adjust to the loss of a baby due to miscarriage or stillbirth.
When asked about Bernadette Rivera, a CHRISTUS spokesperson sent this statement:
“Sadly, failed pregnancies can bring despair and grief to mothers-to-be and families. Although not a patient at our Hospitals, our chaplain received preliminary calls [from Rivera] asking for information about the CHRISTUS Santa Rosa Health System Angles Away program. Initial inquiries were made about burial arrangements for the fetus, however no further contact was made with our Hospital chaplain. While our health system does not show this individual in our patient records, our hearts go out to this individual and her family as they work through the appropriate next steps to honor this unborn life.”