You really want your boss to fire the guy who brushes his toenail clippings underneath the cubicle divider and blames it on you, but he won't because that guy sold twice as many widgets last month as you did.
You're also having trouble coping with Junior in accounting, who sends your paperwork back because he wants you to press harder on the triplicate form so he can read it while surfing the Internet. He won't get fired either. He's the boss's son.
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Take heart. It could be worse. You could be a big-time Hollywood director and have to work with these notoriously hard-to-work-with thespians.
Just in case your delusion of becoming a Hollywood star actually comes true, you probably want to avoid these Hollywood divas, starting with the godfather of all divas ...
No. 5: Marlon Brando
Brando was considered "eccentric," which means he was a pain in the butt who made a lot of people a lot of money, so they put up with him.
Don't let his eccentricities stop you from seeing "On the Waterfront," "A Streetcar Named Desire" or his riveting Mark Antony monologue in "Julius Caesar."
Diva or not, Brando was consistent off the screen as well, turning down an Academy Award for best actor for his role as Don Corleone in "The Godfather"; apparently it was an offer he could refuse.
Other examples of Brando's odd behavior includes not responding to director Frank Oz's suggestions unless he spoke in a Miss Piggy voice and demanding (and getting) $10 million for a four-minute appearance in "Superman."
Don't confuse Brando's brand of diva as unmanly, however; it's not like he sang in a boy band like our next celebrity ...
No. 4: Justin Timberlake
Calling the lead singer of a boy band a diva is easier than convincing Britney Spears to marry you.
Standing out as a diva among your boy-band contemporaries, however, takes an awful lot of whining and moaning, and very few do it better than Justin Timberlake.
In March of 2010, according to the New York Post, Timberlake threw a tantrum while preparing to show his clothing line at New York's Fashion Week (having your own clothing line doesn't necessarily mean you're a diva, but it is a possible sign that you could easily become one) and forced everyone in attendance to sign a gag order, something that Timberlake should have tried before insulting the entire country of Australia in 2007.
A look at Timberlake's past and girlfriends and current wife, however, indicates that being a diva isn't always bad.
If he'd have dated this next diva, it would make for titanic gossip ...
No. 3: Gwyneth Paltrow
Remember when your Uncle Glenn bought your under-aged brother booze and denied it even though nobody really thought he had actually done it until he started denying it?
In 2010, Gwyneth spent a lot of time denying she's a diva and that she really didn't order her production crew to renovate a penthouse in Nashville where was shooting the movie "Country Strong." For someone who has no trouble calling herself "a sexual woman" (whatever that means), you think she'd be a little less sensitive about tabloid rumors.
If the population at large wants to believe your production crew spent $100,000 to renovate a penthouse that you and your family could live in for four weeks, let them.
And if you think these demands are outlandish, wait to you see what this next diva requests ...
No. 2: Jennifer Lopez
Being a successful actress, singer, and diva requires talent, looks, and a checklist of requests that would make the most loyal servant puke in his mouth.
Jennifer Lopez's requests include two humidifiers, two fans, two extension cords and two ashtrays at every hotel stay. Oh, and make sure the M&Ms are regular and not peanut or she might melt wax in your face from that Lime Blossom candle she demands.
She threw a tantrum because people showed up late to her surprise birthday party. If she gets that upset on her birthday, you can imagine how unreasonable she is on the set, where she prefers to be called "number one" and requests you not look her in the eye or speak directly to her without permission.
Her "divasity" can be topped by only one woman, which brings us to our No. 1 choice ...
No. 1: Madonna
Anyone who names herself after the "holy mother" and brags about being a "material girl" naturally considers herself above the commoners.
It's no wonder, therefore, that Madonna has taken divaness to a new level, discounting even the safety of her fans by banning air conditioning at a 2006 summer concert at Wembley Arena in London. She had to preserve her vocal chords, after all.
Luckily the British Health and Safety Board ordered the air conditioning turned on after several fans fainted.
Madonna's common work diva demands include a new toilet seat, three Kabbalah candles, white roses, an all-white dressing room, an Ein Gedi Dead Sea Foot Spa and unsalted edamame (whatever that is).
Madonna's response: "Papa, don't preach! We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl."
