SAN ANTONIO – It was a clear, warm, sunny Sunday afternoon. After agreeing to take my daughter and her best friend to the mall, we started the short, 10 minute drive. When we hit the interstate, Transguide signs warned of approaching construction, declaring in bold letters - PREPARE TO STOP! Sure enough, traffic was at a dead stand still. We stopped in the long line of cars waiting to exit the interstate, and started talking. As we waited for traffic to inch forward, without warning, without screeching tires, without horns honking, suddenly we were hit from behind. A huge Chevy Tahoe slammed into the back of my Honda Pilot. The force was so great that, despite having both feet on the brakes of my car, we were thrown into the car in front of us. It happened so fast, it took a moment to register what had just happened. The kids started screaming and crying, all I could think of was, "Please God, let them by okay!" Thank goodness we were all wearing seat belts. My legs were hurting, because they had been jammed into the dashboard, the kids were complaining that their necks and heads were hurting, and I knew I had suffered a bad case of whiplash. The impact was so forceful, we couldn't open the doors. Within minutes, fire trucks, ambulances, and police were on the scene. My husband and the parents of my daughter's friend rushed to the scene as well. One thing was certain, there would be no trip to the mall.
My car was totaled, and had to be towed from the scene. We were all very lucky, because, other than whiplash and bruises, we all seemed to be okay, at least physically okay. But the experience has left me emotionally, a total wreck.
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Ever since that impact, I find myself scared to death that it is going to happen again. When I am in traffic, and slow down, I cringe as I look into the rear view mirror, saying to myself, "Please stop, please stop!" I have an irrational fear of someone slamming into the back of my car. I tense up, my heart races, and I pray each and every time I come to a stop when there's another car behind me. So, will it go away? Am I alone in this experience? I decided to do a little checking.
It turns out someone has actually written a book about it.
An Associate Press headline reads:
So, could it be that I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Do I have PTSD from a car crash?
If I do, I wouldn't be alone.
The book After The Crash examines the current research on PTSD and describes the experiences and symptoms of survivors of motor vehicle accidents. It's based on a five-year study of 158 motor vehicle accident survivors in Albany, NY.
The authors, psychologists Edward B. Blanchard, Ph.D. and Edward J. Hickling, Psy.D., told AP in an interview, ''Besides this being a national public health problem, it is also taking a psychological toll. Not only are almost half of those in car accidents at a noticeable risk for developing PTSD, but there are other non symptomatic signs that affect them, like having trouble on the job and in school, maintaining friendships and not being able to enjoy leisure time."
Blanchard and Hickling continued on, "At least 15.3 percent of them developed a driving phobia (stopped driving or severely restricted their driving) and 93.2 percent of the survivors developed driving reluctance (avoided the site of the accident and weather conditions and certain road and traffic conditions that were similar to conditions the day of the accident, and did not want to be a passenger)."
While I haven't been officially diagnosed, it's possible I have PTSD. The book says that people can be helped with counseling. I haven't decided to go that far yet, but I'm relieved to know that I'm not alone in feeling like a total wreck after having one.